I am aggrevated at the moment so I thought I would use this as an opportunity to talk about stress and anger and some different ways I coping with these feelings. It takes a lot to really stress me out. I actually work pretty well under pressure. In fact more often than not I feel like if it weren't for the last minute I would never accomplish anything. However, anger is a whole other problem. I have lots of anger issues. So how do I cope with these feelings.*In no way am I even remotely claiming to be an expert on any of this.*
Let's talk a little bit about stress. Stress is defined as the physical and emotional response to events that threaten or challenge us. So pretty much life is stress. Doesn't mean life isn't good too. Everything causes stress, at least a little bit. Holidays, family, getting older, money, work, school, and politics are just a few things that can cause stress. How do you know if you are stressed? In a text book called Discovering the Lifespan by Robert S. Feldman there is a neat litte test
The test is only to relate to the last month. Add up your score and see just how stressed you are.
1.How often have you been upset by someting that has happened unexpectedly?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
2.How often have you felt that you are unable to control the important things in your life?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
3.How often have you felt nervous and "stressed"?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
4.How often have you felt confident about your ability to handle your personal problems?
never=4 almost never=3 sometimes=2 fairly often=1 very often=0
5.How often have you felt that things were going your way?
never=4 almost never=3 sometimes=2 fairly often=1 very often=0
6.How often have you been able to control irritations in your life?
never=4 almost never=3 sometimes=2 fairly often=1 very often=0
7.How often have you found that you could not cope with all the things that you had to do?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
8.How often have you felt that you were on top of things?
never=4 almost never=3 sometimes=2 fairly often=1 very often=0
9.How often have you been angered by things that were outside of your control?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
10.How often have you felt difficulties were piling up so high that you could not overcome them?
never=0 almost never=1 sometimes=2 fairly often=3 very often=4
How do You measure up? (compare your average scores to the averages below)
AGE Gender Marital Status
18-29------14.2 Male----------12.1 Widowed-------12.6
33-44------13.0 Female----------13.7 Married/living with-----12.4
45-54------12.6 Single----------14.1
55-64------11.9 Divorced-------14.7
65 +-------12.0 Separated-------16.6
To make everyone feel a little better (hopefully) about their stress level I can say that mine is double compare to the average.
What is coping? Coping is the effort to control, reduce, or learn to tolerate the threats that lead to stress. So how do I cope with stress. Deep breaths. Close your eyes, try to feel the different parts of your body and breathe very deeply 3 or 4 times. This is my go to coping skill. It only takes a few seconds and works pretty well for me. Other ways I deal with stress-hot baths, naps and probably the most unheatlhy coping skill I have is chocolate. Chocolate cures everything, just ask Harry Potter.
I do not have nearly as good a set of coping skills for my anger. I probably never will. For me anger and depression go hand in hand. I tend to bottle and cap off my emotions. Every once in a while I explode, but it's usually over little things that aren't really that important to me. Can we say road rage? So how do I cope with the anger that I don't let out. I vent. It's probably the easiest and generally the most effective coping skill I have. But I don't just vent to anyone. I have to vent to someone who is completely removed from the situation, otherwise the anger continues to build. I also do a lot of impulse shopping. Another not so good coping skill. One that I am working very hard to get under control. I also need a cooling off period when I get really angry. Oh and I have a tendancy to watch violent movies. I think I need to work on developing a better set of coping skills for my anger. I clean a lot when I am angry as well, but it has to be the right kind of angry. So I guess that is beneficial skill. When the anger turns into depression I sleep A LOT.
One of my biggest pet peeves is people telling me that it is up to me to control my depression. That I can choose to be happy or not. Sorry folks it doesn't always work out that way. Guess I got wired wrong. I'm in my 30's now and my depression isn't as extreme as it was in high school. A big plus to getting older. It still drags me down sometimes. Lately more often than not, but that is another story. Aside from using sleep as a coping skill, I tend to pretend I don't feel depressed. Eventually it becomes true. Let me be perfectly clear, I know I have an illness. I have tried medication and I do not like the effects the ones I have tried have on me. If I get desperate I take St. Hohn's Wort. I do not see a therapist/counsiler. I do not recommend these types of not dealing. It works for ME. If you suffer from depression find what works for you and do not be afraid to admit you have an illness. Depression is NOT a choice. I wish it were. One thing I do when I am depressed, when I hurt so bad on the inside that it physically hurts to have people I love touch me, is pray. Sometimes there are no words in those prayers, but I know my Heavenly Father hears me.
I hope someting I said in this post is helpful to someone.
No comments:
Post a Comment